The Commodification of Personality
by Julia Finch
Franklin College of Arts and Sciences, Department of English
This essay explores the idea of instant gratification and how it affects how people approach dating in the modern world. Drawing on research regarding decreasing attention spans and dopamine responses associated with anticipation-to-reward, this essay argues that dating apps encourage users to approach relationships through patterns similar to consumer behavior. From there, the essay elaborates on how the lack of attention spans encourages a culture of instant gratification. This mindset leads to overconsumption as a way to maintain a steady steam of dopamine. Mass consumerism affects not only physical products; it affects people, too. The essay explores how dating platforms shift the perception of human connection from organic interactions into a transactional exchange. Users construct curated, and often fake, profiles that function like storefronts, presenting edited images and personalities to attract matches. In turn, other users evaluate these profiles in seconds, mirroring rapid consumption patterns seen in other areas of digital media. While dating apps do have some notable successes, the essay argues that their structure encourages overconsumption of options, where people are the products, and shallow forms of connection. Ultimately, the normalization of these platforms reflect a cultural shift where technology shapes expectations for speed and convenience in personal relationships.
Overconsumption, Online Dating, dating-apps, instant-gratification, media
Attention spans are at an all-time low. As students, we have heard this admonition preached from pulpits and lecture halls. According to Dr. Gloria Mark from the American Psychological Association (APA), in 2004, “the average attention span on any screen to be two and a half minutes [~180 seconds] on average.” In eight years, this number would be cut by more than half, to no more than a minute and fifteen seconds (~75 seconds). We might not like being told that we cannot pay attention. Perhaps you assign a label to excuse why you can not focus on a three-minute video: “It’s my ADHD”, “I haven’t taken my medicine”, or “I’m just not a good student” are all phrases repeated daily by a variety of people. While these statements might hold some truth, they are a symptom of a bigger issue: the culture of instant gratification. Instant gratification has shaped the way we interact not just with products but with people and dating apps have turned human beings into consumable items to be judged within seconds.
Instant gratification leads to overconsumption as it promotes quantity over quality. While we hear the word “overconsumption” often, we can apply it to not only things, clothes, or food but to people. Amazon can deliver your purchase in one business day. Content creators pump out seconds-long videos that viewers can barely focus on long enough to finish. Fast food drive-thru earns a three-star rating if your food takes longer to prepare than the time to drive up to the window. Dating apps promote these same judgments. In July of 2025, Forbes Magazine reported that over 30% of adults admitted to being on a dating app. In the United States alone, that percentage equals around 80 million people–80 million people who spend their free time swiping on people based on a split-second impression.
The craving for instant results and instant “good feelings” has increased drastically over the past few years. If a user does not find a forever partner within a single right swipe, then it is back in the swiping pool; each person getting a little dopamine hit every time a new face appears across the screen. According to Dr. David Greenfield, assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Connecticut School of Medicine, “the anticipation of a potential prize also releases a flood of dopamine in our brains”. This means that each time a notification with that tell-tale “ding!” chimes, a whole generation has “pavloved” themselves into becoming excited to have potentially met someone. It’s addictive. Do dating apps report some successes? Yes. In my personal experience, a close friend attended a wedding recently where the bride and groom met on the dating app “Hinge”. But do dating apps commodify people? Also, yes. The saying, “If it’s free, you are the product” is accurate. While these dating apps offer premium subscriptions and might not be selling their users to advertisement companies, their users are selling themselves to each other.
I have been there. Likely, if you are reading this article you have been there or are considering it. After spending at least 30 minutes scrolling through photos looking for the best picture, you open your Airbrush app, filter app, or edit tool and touch up the image, even just slightly. Finally, you have six decent photos. Each photo you hope accurately depicts the best parts of your personality enough so you can sell it to “someone”. However, then you are prompted to write sometimes multiple short bios. You sit, think, and collaborate with friends: “What should I say?” or “How would you describe me in three words?” Congratulations! You have now created a profile designed to be consumed, where another consumer will decide, within seconds, if you are worth taking a chance.
You might question this claim: “Doesn’t that just happen in real life?” Yes. Naturally, humans are social beings and process hundreds of faces a day and decide, consciously or not, whether they will engage in conversation, an “eye-contact-situationship”, or to simply walk away. However, these people we see on the sidewalks are involved in our day-to-day life, regardless of if you interact; by broadening those horizons on a screen to twenty miles, one hundred miles, or even global outreach, you transform yourself into a storefront.
You allow for “Lauren, 60 miles away” to decide in milliseconds if you are worthy of her attention. And then, all of a sudden, Lauren’s validation is not enough. You begin chatting to three other people, arguing that you are just “keeping your options open”. Then, perhaps you download another app, where you chat with five new people. “I’m just making friends!” is the excuse I used when I justified it to my in-person friends. Ultimately, the product has been pitched, and you are that product.
In these lines, the message is not that dating apps do not work. We, as humans, were not designed to be connected to the entire world at every second of every day. Shallow connection damages our organic relationships, especially when our interactions turn purely transactional. Even on a date with someone you met in person, a little voice in your head whispers “this would be so much faster online”. Instant gratification has desensitized us as a culture to the concept of selling our “perfect” personalities to digital strangers, which is not only unrealistic, but unsustainable.
If you tried to delete the apps for a week, would you find yourself subconsciously opening your phone to swipe across photos while you ignore the people standing right next to you at the crosswalk? And the bigger question is this: if this is a habit you cannot stop now, how will you stop that urge to swipe when you do finally find that “perfect person”? Step away from the app. Look up and smile at the next person you see. They are worth your effort.
References
Mills, Kim. “Speaking of Psychology: Why Our Attention Spans Are Shrinking, with Gloria Mark, PhD.” American Psychological Association, American Psychological Association, Feb. 2023, www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/attention-spans.
Phares, Emily. “Dating Statistics and Facts in 2025.” Edited by Meaghan Harmon, Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 22 July 2025, www.forbes.com/health/dating/dating-statistics/#:~:text=According%20to%20dating%20statistics%20from,compared%20to%2027%25 %20of%20women.
“What Happens in the Brain When We Swipe Right?” Headspace, 2025, www.headspace.com/ articles/modern-love-addiction.
Citation Style: MLA